Monday, May 21, 2012
Revisiting Issues That Shouldn't Be Issues
Where do you draw the line between mom and writer? It seems to be a struggle that has plauged many generations over. I often read articles where authors (women, not men) are asked how they manage their careers and families, like being able to do so is as mystical and unheard of as unicorns. Seriously...it's a little frustrating. Should I feel guilty for finding time to write? Should I feel guilty when I'm doing innocuous things with my kids instead of writing?
Maybe we should just blur those lines and instead focus on all the things we're doing right. And stop asking female authors, who also happen to be mothers, that question.
Everyone has their own way of balancing their life. It can be a juggling act, or perhaps a calendar full of post- it notes carefully laying out the map of your life. Whatever it is, we shouldn't feel guilty about it. The fact is there isn't such a thing as mom slash writer. You're either one or the other, depending on what you're doing. You can't really shut off either part of you when you're a mom OR a dad. They sort of just blend together, but I don't let that interfere with what's happening right in front of me.When I'm at my son's t-ball game I'm a mom, when I'm sitting in front of a computer screen and typing away, I'm a writer. It's really that simple.
There's no magical formula to it. You just do what you gotta do to get things done, without causing permanent damage to your kiddos (which I may have already done by letting my oldest watch The Walking Dead with me a couple of times). No one is a perfect parent, finding one is most definitely like searching for those sparkly unicorns.
I love my kids, I love writing. That's where I'll leave it. My kids are happy, and my writing...well, I'm sure it could use some improvement, but I find time to do it. I don't think this issue will ever go away, especially for those that are members of the fairer sex, but at least I can make peace with how I deal with it.