Tuesday, February 21, 2012

First Campaign Challenge: Presley's Revenge

It's finally time! The rules are below;
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!
My story is exactly 200 words. I also included orange and 'everything faded'.

Presley's Revenge:

 Shadows crept across the wall. The hazy orange of daylight broke them into crisscrossing patterns along the rotting floorboards. Presley stepped quietly, her bare feet grazing against the splintering wood, quaking beneath her weight. The still silence quickened her heartbeat, making the sweat stick against her clothes.

It was sleeping. But she knew better. It was more than aware of her presence in the abandoned farmhouse. This was the moment she’d been waiting for- a chance to kill the thing that had destroyed her family, taking everything precious from her. Their blood curdling screams still woke her during the worst of nights, the darkness smothering her with memories.  

Just a few more steps and she would be there. Presley told herself to calm down. Over five years of training would help her to survive what awaited behind the door. But did she want to live after it was all over? Nothing would be left to keep her going. No revenge plan to push her in a life she no longer desired. Death would be a welcome friend.

The knob was within arm’s reach. The cold metal slipped a little against her wet palm. The door creaked open and everything faded.

If you liked it, go on over to Rachel Harrie's blog and vote. I'm entry 105.

29 comments:

  1. Nice buildup and great descriptions to place the reader in the story. Wonder what she's out to kill!

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  2. Very nicely done!! Great build-up of tension. And I love revenge stories. She's a very brave girl to take on what killed her entire family so brutally.

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  3. I like her conflicting emotions, thinking of what is to come once this task is done.

    I really like this piece.

    good job.

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  4. Okay. Now I want to know what's on the other side of that door. Not fair, but very well written. Nice one! :)

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  5. Awesome build-up! This was scary and suspenseful! Nice work! :)

    I'm #37 :)

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  6. Wow. I LOVED this entry. You did a great job conveying how your MC feels about revenge. Nicely done! Heading over to vote for you :)

    I'm entry #19

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  7. Nice intensity and scene building. I love the visuals of the splintered wood under the character's bare feet. And I want to know more about what happened before and after the scene. Great job!

    I'm #36.

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  8. Very intense and great build-up. Well done:)

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  9. Great build up. Intense and suspenseful. I likey!

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  10. This is so intense and beautiful! I love the language. Great job!

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  11. I love the "bare feet grazing against splintering wood..." great use of language! Great entry! :)

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  12. thanks guys! I'm glad you're enjoying my entry.

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  13. Very intense and conflicted. I Want to know what that creature is!

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  14. Great piece! The tension was spot-on. :)

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  15. Great build-up, full of suspense. Great job!

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  16. Love your entry Prerna. Good luck!

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  17. It's SO interesting to have a character who seems to be meant for one thing, you know? Very cool! Great job!

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  18. Hey there! I'm finally making the rounds and getting to other campaigners' blogs.

    Very creepy scene! I absolutely loved how it ended.

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  19. Great build up of tension and suspense! Nice cliffhanger ending too! I'm #61.

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  20. Just stopping by to let you know you've been chosen to move on to the second round! Congrats! :)

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  21. When I first say your comment, I totally thought this fic was gonna be about Elvis coming back from the dead.

    XP

    I'm really interested in what's sleeping in the barn now!

    #109

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  22. I really felt for the protagonist and her dilemma. Great build up of the suspense, succinctly written. Nice job!

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  23. Would love to know why she stayed alive and what that thing was.

    Tale Spinning #58

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  24. Loved the suspense and the feeling of dread that lingered in the background throughout. Very well written.

    Know it's late in the day, but just checking random entries at the challenge today...mine is at #15

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  25. The suspense was fantastic. Need more.

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  26. I'm with the other commenters - this needs a sequel!

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  27. A very discriptive, suspenseful and intense piece! Nice work!

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