Okay, so I FINALLY got some writing done. But it wasn't on my manuscript, it was the for the flash fiction that is our first Campaign Challenge. It was put together kind of quickly, but I hope you enjoy it anway. I also did 200 words exactly and ended it with "The door swung shut." That was quite an accomplishment. The title is The Hunted Hunter:
The Door swung open
He stood with his long dark trench coat and scarf hiding his face, as the brim of his black Stetson created slits for his eyes that shined brightly with anticipation, just a shadow against the night. His hand glossed over the sharp edges of the curved knife, the silver glinting beneath the moonlight. Heart pounding, hands itching, he was ready for the hunt.
Mishapen shapes protruded through the envelope of the black night, snarling with their jagged teeth, the saliva dripping as the scent of his pulsing blood caressed their mouths. They had finally come to hunt the hunter
Beneath the glooming layers of his scarf a smile lifted, the trace of emotion invisible beneath his mask of blood and death. His eyes cast across the threshold. “Let’s get this over with, shall we boys?” The Hunter’s voice was clear and unruffled, the brusque threat of his words music to their ears.
The growls grew louder, deafening the haunted forest.
The Hunter’s smile deepened. His hand slid out the weapon, the only companion left for him, and the angry howls tore into the sky.
“I promise I’ll make it hurt,” He said. The door swung shut.
Great job. It kept me interested and I want to know more.
ReplyDeleteLove the sensory details because you made me feel like I could hear the howls and see the jagged teeth.
ReplyDeleteLove the dark imagery you created. I can clearly see the Hunter standing there. Great job!
ReplyDeleteLove the imagery and the darkness... totally creepy! I'm definitely intrigued by your writing. Great job!
ReplyDeleteNice :D Reminds me of Van Helsing or something similar... one of those shows/movies with the guy in the leather jacket with big knives ;)
ReplyDeletethanks everyone! This is my first attempt at flash fiction so I know it could use some work, but I had fun writing it :-)
ReplyDeleteInteresting idea! You did a great job creating atmosphere, and I love the title!
ReplyDelete'...howls tore into the sky'...ohhh, gave me the shivers. I thought this was well done. '...the only thing left for him...' Really good wording for a 'hunter'. ~ Nadja
ReplyDeleteI love how just the word "stetson" creates an image of this character. Brilliant!
ReplyDeletevery visually satisfying. Nicely done. Mine is completely different. #72
ReplyDeleteGreat details and tension! I liked your take on this :)
ReplyDeletePrerna! Can't believe I didn't notice you posted your flash story yesterday. Anyway, your first line "He stood with his long dark trench coat and scarf hiding his face." had me completely hooked. Great work-so dark and full of tension. Gonna go vote for you on the linky! (wish me luck finding you on that crazy long list!)
ReplyDeleteSuspenseful! I like the idea of hunters being hunted:) Well done, Prerna!
ReplyDeletethanks Lundy! That's really sweet and I just read yours and it was awesome! Love your take on crossing over.
ReplyDeleteI loved the dark humour in this :)
ReplyDeleteNice eery and tense scene. I especially loved this line: "I promise I'll make it hurt." Awesome ending. ;)
ReplyDeleteooh, very chilling and creepy. Great job! :D
ReplyDeleteOOO vicious. I like it :)
ReplyDeleteVery nice- I like him
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh I love it! Very nice job! I wish you had written more but it ends so perfectly!! Very creepy too!
ReplyDeleteI'm entry #235
What a great, strong character you've created in just a few words! I like him already. :) Great job. ☺
ReplyDeleteDripping saliva. Prerna, I love it. Well done. Incredibly cool to see where 4 little words take each writer.
ReplyDeleteI'm #263. Read it here: http://www.carolestlaurent.com/romanceandbeyond/Sherrys_Campaign_Challenges/Sherrys_Campaign_Challenges.html
Great tension you've built with this piece, and in only 200 words! Great entry!
ReplyDelete