Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Third Campaign Challenge: Waking From Paradise

It's here, the third campaign challenge! Here are the details:

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:

that it’s morning,
that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
that the MC (main character) is bored
that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise." (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).

Here's my entry: Waking From Paradise

A yellow, orange haze cast across the vast blue sky, cloudless and perfect. The water rippled, meeting the shore slowly with its turquoise taint.
Goosebumps lined her flesh as the morning chill nipped away. It was going to be another ninety degree day, but at five in the morning, wearing a two piece on the beach was asking for the barely there cold to make its presence known.
“Isn’t it beautiful, Katie?” His eyes twinkled when he asked the question. “The most synbatec sunrise on the face of this Earth.”
She rolled her eyes, completely over it. Then there was the wastopaneer smell behind them that was killing the mood.
Rising from the ground, she shook out her bathing suit, letting the grains of sand grinding against her butt fall while her stomach jiggled.
Tanner held out his hand, his chocolate brown hair shifting with the small breeze. Her own dark hair was being tacise, as usual, completely untamable. Why did his always look so perfect?
Clasping her hand with his, the chill got stronger. He pulled her in closer, wrapping his arms around her bare back. His lips claimed hers and she felt herself sigh against his touch. Clinging to him, she suddenly felt an overpowering sense of panic, reality trying to wake her from the dream. Her eyes shut tight, she fought against whatever part of her was starting to wake. The stench got stronger, overpowering the other details of the morning. Then it finally hit her.
Her eyes flew open and she jumped away. The unidentified smell of dying flesh knocked the wind out of her. Everywhere she turned, there were corpses, a trail of his appetite.
“Damn, I was so close to having you.” The smile returned to his face. That familiar, hungry smile. She screamed.

Word Definitions:
Synbatec- incredible
wastopaneer- strange
tacise-stubborn
I'm entry number 61 if you all are interested in voting, but no pressure! Hope you enjoy :).

25 comments:

  1. Whoa I love it! Creepy twist at the end! I love how it seems so romantic and it flows so well until that last paragraph. Wonderful job! You've got my vote :)

    I'm entry #5

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow that was spooky! I hope she gets away.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a surprise! Lol! Love the descriptive! Good job! ; )

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oooh! That ending was spectacular! Nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love the twist at the end. Hope she runs away! Great approach to the challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, this was fun. Hard words to work in too - good job!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, nice twist at the end! I wasn't expecting it at all. Good imagery and wonderful use of the made up words. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  8. That is one of the scariest thing I have ever heard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Awesome twist at the end. I've been so surprised with all the different writing that comes from this challenge. I'm glad I found your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very nice! I love it! Way to put a fabulous twist at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Creeptacular ending! You've got a great knack for building suspense and executing it. Great job! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Delish icky ending. You had me going one way and then shoved me in another direction. Fun, fun.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love that you included your definitions at the end. :) Very nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  14. So vivid--I could see everything. And I LOVED the twisty end :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Great descriptions, great twist! Am off to vote for you now :o)

    ReplyDelete
  16. your story was brilliant, it kind of made my skin crawl at the end as I imaginined it all. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  17. She should have stayed in the dream lol. Mine is #56

    ReplyDelete
  18. Woah, that was really creepy! I really enjoyed the twist at the end! Great job :)

    I'm entry #69 :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I totally didn't expect it to end that way! Nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  20. CREEPY! And the twist at the end is great! Wonderful job. :) So glad to find your blog. I am a new follower and #58. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Fantastic twist! Great job,and fantastic imagery the whole way through.
    Mine is #25.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your writing is page-turner stuff. Love it and great twist at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  23. That's some ending! I loved your piece.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ah, men, they're always hiding something. Good job.

    mood
    (now following)
    Moody Writing
    @mooderino

    ReplyDelete
  25. Loved the build up and the twist at the end! Great job.

    ReplyDelete